So, a month ago, I decided to take my health into my own hands. Because of my Endometriosis, my OBGNY has been my general practitioner, but I decided to book an appointment with the guy actually listed as that. During this appointment, I told him about this knot in the center of my belly (which turned out to be a Hiatial Hernia) & I decided to just get everything checked out. He referred me to a general sergeant, requested like every type of blood test they can request. Then I requested a breast exam. He was reluctant to fulfill that requests, but I refused to stand down. So many magazine periodicals advise that women over 30 have an annual mamagram, so I insisted that he book mine. A couple of weeks go by. The general sergeant confirmed not 1 but 2 hernias and said they will not go away, may get worst, but it was my choice to have the procedure or not. He was so cool, the way he presented me w/my options. I didn’t fill pressured to follow his recommendation. I didn’t feel foolish if I decided against it. I felt like I could decide and there would be no judgement against me, whatever my decision was. I decided to have the procedure. I cried like a baby, because I realized I was going to miss work as a result. I also realized I was opting, for the 1st time in my life, to give up the control I THOUGHT I had over my life. This was the most scary, insightful, upsetting, happy, uplifting reality I’d come across in my life. Clearly, I’m a control freak that FLIRTS w/the words of “let go and let God”. This was the 1st time I actually lived by those words.
During the week of my surgery, I had an ultrasound of my breasts done. I thought this was a bit odd, as I’ve always been taunted with my own images of this mid-evil machine that smashes ur boobies for minutes that can be compared to long eternities. Instead, I was placed on a plushy medical table, covered in the disposable tissue and given a gown and asked to remove all of my clothing from my hips up. My nurse was very pleasant and we made small talk about how I kept my 6 yr old New Balances so clean (Shout and the washer, btw). The gel was cold. Even though we were heavily involved in the most peaceful conversation about nothing, I was mentally combatting against the most toxic head chatter of what these results could be.
The following week, I had 2 procedures. I had THE most awesome experiences while under Anastasia, which I will save for another blog. I found so much beauty and serenity in that whole situation. Everything was simply, perfect.
Fast foward to yesterday, Monday October 24, 2014. I was lying in the bed, in the early stages of my nap, when my mom awoke me to speak to the doctor’s office. The receptionist said they found some abnormalities in my sonogram and would like me to call a breast specialist for further testing. I cried so hard, and so loud, my mom, dad and granny came rushing to my room. I couldn’t stop crying, nor look up. My mom took the phone and the receptionist advised her of what she told me. My mom comforted me and told me everything was gonna be fine. It’s probably just cysts, which are perfectly normal. She hugged me and got me settled then she and my granny left to run their Thanksgiving errands.
After my mom left, the sergeants words, reminding me of the choices I had,came to mind. I recalled the calmness, sense of support and lack of judgement which made me feel so comforted. I called and made my appointment, which is on December 6th. I promise to write an update, because writing these words are giving me so much peace.
I don’t know if there are other young ladies that have had this, or a similar experience, but I hope my experience sheds light and can serve as support for anyone who needs it. I have a fun bubbly personality, so I have decided to think of the many cysts in my body as big bubbles of love, joy and happiness that my body can’t live without. This concept is available for everyone that needs a pleasant concept behind their bodily function abnormalities. Feel free to interact with me. I’m still learning the ins and outs of blogging, but I would love to hear form everyone this blog reaches. Sending lots of love.